Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
