Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Randomize
