You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
