Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
