So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
