While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
