Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
