I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
