ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
