She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
