Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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