The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
