Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
