wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
