Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
