watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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