Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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