This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
