Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
