At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Randomize
