I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
