He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
