Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
