If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
