If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
