There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
