Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
