I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
