One girl and one boy is just not enough.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
