I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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