when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I AM VODKA MAN
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
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