Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
try to milk me bitch
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