that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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