I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
