then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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