imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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