Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
