How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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