Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Congratulations! We have a period
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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