We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
