He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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