wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
So much Jack, so little girl.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
