saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
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