I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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