Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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