wat bout pragnant strippers??
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
