You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
