you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
