yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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