I wanna passion pit in your ass
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
